Confessions of a FOUR & a SEVEN: Teaching in the Hot Springs
“Due to COVID-19…” How many times have we read that this year? “Due to COVID-19, you cannot sit in this chair.” It seems like it’s written on everything followed by a lament of regular things that we can no longer do. Well, my family put a positive spin on that. Due to COVID-19, we are spending the month of November in the beautiful Colorado town of Steamboat Springs. No other times in our lives have we been able to work and do school from anywhere so we are taking full advantage of that! We have been able to try new things, new restaurants, new experiences, and actually get SNOW and WINTER (we are from Texas where the average temp for November can still be in the high 70’s, low 80’s). But that’s just a side note to this blog.
Old Town Hot Springs
One of the things that we have enjoyed doing after a long hike or a challenging day of sitting at the computer for work and school is the Old Town Hot Springs. It is a community center with several naturally heated hot springs. We decided to go last night before dinner. McKenna and Raegan stayed in our pool that’s a several degrees hotter and then would jump in the warmer pool. After awhile, we looked over and saw the girls talking and laughing. We decided to watched longer and realized that McKenna was actually teaching Raegan sign language. After watching for a few minutes, the girls hurried over to our pool…and I mean HURRIED! When you get out of one pool, you run in the 30 degree temps to jump in the warmth of the next pool.
“We are going to have a conversation! Watch!” Raegan said excitedly! Then they proceeded to sign back and forth, asking questions and answering each other in ASL (American Sign Language). I saw McKenna’s teacher’s pride as she watched Raegan signing everything that she had just taught in a matter of 30 minutes. And at that very moment, God began to speak to me a lesson that I will never forget!
To fully understand the deep magnitude of McKenna, my SEVEN, teaching Raegan, my FOUR, I will need to give a bit of background. As you may remember from previous blogs (you can read them by clicking on the above number types), McKenna and Raegan are quite different. FOURS live much of the time in their feelings even if they are difficult emotions like anger, sadness, and melancholy. SEVENS want nothing to do with difficult emotions and will avoid experiencing and expressing them at all costs. This has caused a lot of tension between these two sisters who used to be extremely close. You add age differences (15 and 12) and just growing into full teenagers, and you can only imagine the fights, disagreements and hurt feelings that have occurred over the last few years. And having to be quarantined due to COVID-19 was just the icing on the cake and has led to even more strife and conflict. So to see these two laughing, talking, teaching and learning warmed this mama’s heart!
This is McKenna’s first semester of ASL and she has often struggled with the fast speed that the teacher is teaching. And she struggles to focus and study by herself because “That’s just boring!” However, as I watched them, I saw some fundamental truths that I would like highlight here.
McKenna and Raegan were bonding and strengthening their relationship.
Raegan wasn’t comparing herself or trying to prove anything because she actually wants to learn and doesn’t know how other than to be taught by McKenna. FOURS can struggle with harmful comparison and envy, but I saw only a desire to be taught.
McKenna was practicing and studying by teaching Raegan. The very act of teaching helped McKenna learn faster. They went through all of McKenna’s vocabulary list which was hundreds of words and phrases and I saw that she was even getting faster. The motions were being stored in McKenna’s brain as she went over and over them with Raegan.
McKenna felt proud of her sister as she saw her improvement and that she was learning so fast. McKenna even said “Raegan, you are really good at languages!” She gave a genuine compliment to her sister and even though Raegan kind of laughed it off, I know that it meant a lot to Raegan to hear that.
God then gave me further insight to the truth I was seeing played out and gave a warning as well. Has God ever asked you to show someone something that you have just learned or demonstrate something that you just learned? For example, when I had just passed my Enneagram coaching exam, I constantly told myself that I wasn't ready to coach anyone. I didn’t mind talking about it with friends but didn’t feel qualified to take people’s money, especially if I didn’t previously know them. How many times have you said, “I don’t feel qualified to…” and fill in the blank. Maybe it’s not feeling qualified to pray for someone else when you are a new believer and you think you are going to stumble over your words. Or maybe it’s not feeling qualified to teach someone a dance that you are just learning yourself and you know you may mess up in front of someone else. But here is what God said to me as I watched McKenna teach Raegan sign language.
He said, “It grieves me deeply when my children that I have taught how to pray, love others, show patience…(keep filling in the blank) say that they aren’t qualified to show others. I am not calling them to show others perfectly. Nor do I want them to wait until they feel they have mastered that thing I showed them. I asked them to demonstrate what they have learned so that they may practice and walk deeper in the truth that I just taught them! And others are more open to learn from someone who is not an expert. They can both feel free to stumble and then research together how to overcome the setback. And I look on with excitement and a proud Father’s heart watching my child teach someone else, even if they mess up!”
“Uh, wow!” was my only thought for a good five minutes as I continued to watch the girls. Now read back through my four observations from above in the context of God teaching you something and then asking you to show someone else, but then you say that you aren’t qualified. Here are some dangers when we do that.
We possibly hinder the strengthening of a relationship.
We can’t show others that we can be vulnerable and approachable if we need to have it all figured out in order to teach anyone else. This could even trigger their inner weakness (i.e. Raegan’s struggle with comparison.)
We can’t practice what we’ve learned in the low-consequence environment that God may be setting up for us. And we will take longer to really know, understand and fully integrate that lesson into our minds and hearts. The faster it is ingrained, the faster it will influence our thoughts, words and actions.
We won’t see the strengths of others when we show them what we learned. We can’t be a part of their story for growth and they won’t be a part of your story. McKenna would have never been able to say, “Wow, you are really great at languages!” This insight of seeing other’s God-given abilities also aids in strengthening the relationship.
And last but not least, God can’t intrust us with the process of Him teaching us and us teaching others. We will grieve Him by saying we aren’t worthy of something that He has made us worthy of when He decided to show us in the first place!
If God has showed you something then YOU ARE WORHTY AND YOU ARE QUALIFIED! I hope that you can see and grasp what God is saying. I pray that the next time you think, “No, God! I’m not qualified,” that you will remember this blog. I know I will! And if you even dare to think that it’s too late, just pray and ask God for another chance. I know He is faithful to complete the good work that He started in you. I will close with this scripture from Philippians 1:6 TPT.
“I pray with great faith for you, because I am
fully convinced that the One who began this glorious work in you will
faithfully continue the PROCESS of maturing you and
will put His finishing touches to it until the
unveiling go our Lord Jesus Christ!”
